I Need You Now!

It wasn’t enough
To be mommy alone
So indiscriminate, it’s my grandpa as well
At a graceful 83
My peace is shattered
With uncontrollable thoughts
Covid 19’s two for one sentence

Migraines in full effect
The rivers from my eyes release all emotions that rush my soul
I can’t see out of them anymore
The lenses to my glasses are permanently foggy
Someone has to pull me back in
It’s all too much
Too fast
Blurred Vision

How do I stay strong?
When helplessness occurs
When the people you love
Are suffering right before your eyes

The wheezing!
The coughing!
The fear!
Fatigue
Respiratory complications
With little to no support systems
in place?

From one ambulance to another
He’s home alone
She’s now hospitalized
Status updates on the hour
New York to Florida, pronto!

What can I do?
How do I focus on what’s right in front of me?
When multiple pandemics continue to beat us all
Let us not forget our struggles exacerbated amid the chaos

Afraid to sleep
Afraid to rest
Mental exhaustion sets in
Fear of that call or text in the middle of the night
The surrealness of it all

Deep breaths and wooooosiiiiii
Snapping back to a sane reality
And giving it all in prayer
The foundation on which I was raised

Everything is going to be okay
They will both recover
They are covered by the blood
In Jesus name, Amen!
I drift into, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh, in the morning light”, music to my ears!

Manifestations of blessings
Positivity
Thankful check-ins
From all of you

Prayer warriors
Take your place
They, I mean we need you right now.

Rayne

PS. Happy Birthday Lady!

I Need You Now by Smokie Norful (Cover by Deanna Dixon)