The Mourning After

The infamous call from the night before 
Unprecedented pain
Urges of blame 
A hurt soo deep inside 
Shattering organs

Wishing it was just a dream 
I try not to sleep 
If it doesn’t become daylight 
It’s not real
Surrealist thoughts
Eyes dry and burning 
Numbing waters flowing 

“Not like this”
Playing over and over in my head
I try to work like things are normal
Trying to push through 
Like I always do
But not this time 

I’m broken
I’m raw 
I’m physically weakened 
I’m everything sad, lost, and bewildered 
My Grand Best Friend is gone forever 

Mourning, Grieving, Shedding
Reevaluating everything 
Each relationship 
Especially the one with myself 
Who am I now?

The soft spot in my heart 
Tender to touch
Ripped away leaving a gaping wound 
No bandage
No explanation 
Could ever fulfill 
The genuine connection of loving my Grand Best Friend!

Rayne
Rest in Power Grandpa